Alcoholism and Drug  Addiction in Children

WHAT’S A PARENT TO DO?

By MARVIN A. BLOCK, M. D. Member, AMA  Committee on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence

   The incidence of juvenile dependence upon alcohol and drugs is rising. The use of marijuana, the amphetamines, LSD, other known drugs and many new compounds is increasing sharply among our students and other young people. Once mainly identified with the underprivileged and ignorant, such as today knows no social of economic barriers and is spreading among rich and poor alike.

   As we search for solutions to this growing problem, it is valuable to note that among patients undergoing treatment for alcoholism, more than half give a history of either one parent or both being alcoholic. Since the disease of alcoholism is not hereditary in the genetic sense of the term, we must look to the learning process for an immediate and viable connection. That such a commotion does in fact exist is evidenced in histories taken from a great many alcoholics. In all too many cases, where the atmosphere of a home has been adversely influenced by the alcoholism of one of its members—an atmosphere characterized by tension, insecurity and the stifling misery of unsolved problems—the offspring will pursue the some pattern and search for relief from the same or similar problems via the escape route offered by alcohol or drugs.

   Parenthood imposes one of the greatest human responsibilities. Unfortunately, all too many parents abdicate this responsibility. They take it for grated that their children will grow up successfully even though lacking the very guidance that is essential to such achievement. Such parents seem to forget or are ignorant of the fact that guidance by example exerts far greater force than were vocal command, and are prone to yield to the fault doctrine of “do-as-I-say-and-not-as-I-do.”

   It is not sufficiently understood that the average child is equipped with powers of observation by no means limited to hearing what he is told. What escape some parents is the fat that children imitate their elders in countless ways, for the minutest posture, gesture or mannerism of speech to the activities, habits and larger patterns of living that set them apart as individuals.

   I have yet to encounter a parent who has not agreed that the best teaching is by example. Yet, when action suited to such principle is called for some parents immediately establish two differing sets of criteria---one to determine proper behavior or their children, the other to certify their own. Parents are often proud of the fact that their children imitate them, particularly when their own conduct is impeccable. But pride in most cases gives way to censure when their mimicry revolves about moral deviations. Wise parents, realizing that juvenile imitativeness is not always selective, are careful to establish as models only the most wholesome of behavior patterns.

   If circumvention is part of a family’s behavior pattern---if traffic violation, income tax evasions and other infractions are condoned---lawbreaking may come as naturally to the youngsters as to the family heads. The use of illegal drugs will be as easily justified by the young as the free-wheeling actions of their parents are justified by them---and by the very same process of rationalization. If it is permissible for a parent to get drunk on occasion, or to drink to excess too often, the child is easily drawn to follow a similar pattern and to look for “kicks” in alcohol or other drugs.

   In homes where alcohol is used moderately on social occasions (and never as a hedonistic indulgence0 it is unusual to find children growing up to be excessive drinkers. However, where parents brink for pleasure, fun or excitement, their youngsters are likely to follow suit and take up drinking or other drugs for the same purposes.

  Responsible fathers and mothers must impress upon their offspring that drinking is not a standard sign of manliness ---and certainly not of womanliness.  Our young people must be taught that the ability to “hold one’s liquor”---so often portrayed as an accomplishment---is but a sign of tolerance for the drug that is gradually acquired through continued use. They must learn that, even when such tolerance is not already masking addiction, the next step is dependency. And this dependency becomes more and more abject as time goes on---regardless of the victim’s denial, which is often a measure of his dependency.

   Many parents are unduly anxious to see their children grow up, often to the point of pushing them into patterns of adult behavior before they are prepared for adulthood. Encouraging them to seek social prominence by this route is a mistake that is commonly made.

   Drinking parties for high school students are anything but rare and too often are condoned by parents. Mothers who fear that their daughters will lack popularity and thus risk failure to make “a good match” may rush them into adulthood long before they are prepared psychologically for such a role. Too often, if it is a part of the final pattern, the ambitions of the parents will lead them to approve it, if only as an attempt to enhance their children’s opportunities, particularly if the children insist. Such considerations are crassly incompetent and such yielding to pressure is educationally inexcusable.

   Any effort on the part of parents to bridge the generation gap by involving their youngsters in activities that are properly reserved to the adult world is unwise. The presumption that pressuring a child to behave like an adult establishes his adulthood is utterly false and no teaching could be more misleading.

   Actually, the generation gap in itself is far less embarrassing to children and far less causative of juvenile problems than is the gap in parental understanding. When a child finds no one in his immediate family circle with whom he can discuss his problems with confidence that there will be understanding, sympathy and help, it is small wonder that he tends to seek the companionship of others outside the family---and is more prone to take their word for what will help.

   Among the well-to--do, the preoccupied and busy father or the socially conscious and ambitious mother may lake it for granted that their children with grow to maturity without difficulty simply because they have been gifted with both affluence and social standing. They often will be shocked to leaf that their children have fallen into habits that well may lead to alcohol or other drug dependence. Bewildered by such a turn of events, they will exclaim, "How could they! Haven't we given them everything?"

   In too many instances, good parenthood is token to mean supplying material benefits---at the expense of understanding and companionship, the most valuable assets any parent could bestow.

   Also among juvenile users of alcohol or other dugs may be found the overprotected child. Once he is feed from the influence of domineering parents, he at last is compelled to make his own decisions. With no experience in vital problem solving, he is unable to meet life on its own terms and often resorts to alcohol or other drugs to soften the impacts of reality. Eventually, he may become dependent upon them.

   Another source of juvenile frustration is the ambitious parent who expects more from his child than the child can deliver, and who reacts with stern disapproval whenever the youngster fails to measure up to expectations. Here, again, persistent frustration may land a developing child to the use of alcohol or the taking of other drugs as a means of creating at least an illusion of the adequacy, power and success demanded of him at home.

   Because alcohol is a socially acceptable drug, and one that is more readily available that others, the danger of becoming dependent upon it is far greater than it is in the case of other drugs. In spite of the extent to which young people of today are resorting to marijuana, the amphetamines and other “dangerous” agents, the fact is that alcohol remains the drug mast commonly used. Here is a potential for dependency that outweighs all other such perils confronting our young. This danger is underscored by the fact that one out of every ten drinkers becomes alcoholic.

   Though the imparting of knowledge concerning alcohol and other drugs the effects of their use upon the physiology and psychology of the human being and the danger of their use---is among the responsibilities of the schools, the larger responsibility for such education remains with the parents. The didactic leaching provided boy the schools may be of technical assistance, but the practical aspects of the subject are for the most part best taught with in framework of real living, in the home. If the actions of other children appear to be but of step with those principles, the reason for such lack of conformity must be carefully explained.

   The ability to resist the demands of conformity in some areas will often lead to changing the attitudes of others, so that the child with confidence is more likely to become the leader than the led. When children in a given circumstance turn their backs on the use of alcohol or other drugs, (and know enough to state their reasons for doing so) their knowledgeable stand will be respected by their peers and the cry of "chicken" more likely will be uttered by the ones who are afraid not to conform. When a child declares that "all the others are doing it," he or she must be introduced to the truth of the total situation and given a sense of independence.

   Many a youngster has confided to me the wish that his parents might be more directive an less indulgent in the response to coaxing. "If only my folks had been more insistent upon what they wanted or me instead of just listening to what I wanted to do. I don't think I'd have got into is the trouble I'm in." This is not an unusual statement and is one that is as often heard form boys as from girls. If much of the drug taking by junior members of our society is rooted in  revolt, as indeed appears to be the case, there is plenty of evidence that the spirit of youthful rebellion is erected not so much toward parental discipline as toward the lack of it.

   Unfortunately, a new contrary philosophy appears to wave worked its way into our culture. No longer, it seems, must anyone be expected to put up with the slightest degree of discomfort or frustration. The answer to these and other problems is "something to take"--a drink. a drug, a pill--something that will immediately alleviate all pain and suffering, however minuscule or inconsequential. In this untiring campaign against life's rougher aspects, final resorts become first steps, the fear of discomfort and frustration becomes as hard to bear as their actual visitations, and the need for mitigation, pacification and even prevention in all too many instances becomes and an obsession.

   This perpetual yielding to a desire for drug effect causes an individual's threshold of suffering to become tower and lower, so that more and more of the drug is progressive required. No wondered, then, that the use of alcohol and drugs has brown to shocking proportions.     

   It would be a mistake to look upon this as an argument for stoicism and seedless suffering. But certainly in the life of every person, there must come periods of physical, mental and spiritual discomfort. There are times when frustration must be tolerated and when suffering as almost inevitable. This we must know and teach our children.            

   They, as we, must learn to live though untoward circumstances without drugging ourselves into oblivion or into a state where we are not even aware of the reasons for our suffering.

   We would do far better by ourselves an others were we to return to a philosophy of life based upon working out problems as they confront us, rather than trying to circumvent them by means of drugs.

   My strong suggestion is that we alter our entire attitude toward the use of all drugs---alcohol included. Our need is to re-fashion the environment that is crushing us with its emphasis on continuous pleasure and freedom from pain and discomfort. These deceptive guidelines to security and peace of mind must be abandoned in favor of effort based on understanding and acceptance.

   The simplest way to change this environment is to teach the basic facts of life by example in the home. Our youngsters must come to know, not so much from what we tell them as from how we behave to their presence, that life never was designed to be one all-encompassing featherbed. They must be brought to realize that achievement requires far more than wishing and bears no guarantee. They must understand that moods are but natural reflections of the peaks and valley is of surrounding circumstance and not their cause. Problems arise and must be meet, handled and solved to the best of one's ability.

   The effort this requires is valuable not only because it increases the chances of success but also because it removes from failure the stigmata of disgrace. The taking of a pill, a drink or a drug may alter or dull sensation, but actuality remains unchanged.

   When children mature with the knowledge that to make mistakes is human and of value in the learning process, they are far less likely to seek escape from everyday experiences through alcohol or other drugs. And the most reliable implements for planting such knowledge and building it into the lives of our young are the love and solicitude which only family solidarity can supply.