Position of Authority: 

God Jehovah,    Jesus      (Priest)/       Holy Spirit,  Comforter/ Advocator/Counselor

It was a classic case of spouse abuse except for one thing -- the victim was a man and the attacker a woman. The idea that husband beating is a serious problem in this country is difficult for many people to accept yet it’s been called by one expert." The most under-reported crime in America today."

Only a minute number of this case ever get on the records. The reason is simple. It takes a great deal of courage for a battered man to talk into a police station and stand before a burly desk sergeant and say" I want to report that my wife beat me up." But in recent months there are indications that more battered men are willing to come out of the closet.

Last July, The Mayor’s Task Force on Rape set up crisis centers at Queens General Hospital, Lincoln Hospital in the Bronx, Harlem Hospital and St. Vincent’s Hospital in Staten Island. There expected calls from rape victims and battered women. They were startled when they all began getting calls from battered men.

Most men, like women, won’t admit it happened to them.

. He endured many beatings, one of I’ve been beaten with vases, pots and pans."

Yes, Virginia, there are husband beaters and my ex-wife was one.

No one knows for sure how many battered men there are in America today.

The National Institute of Mental Health (NUBH) sponsored a family violence study involving 2,143 families.

This same study also shows that the frequency for violence is about equal for both men and women. The researchers defined a "violent episode" as "any act intended to cause physical pain or injury to the husband or wife ranging from slapping to beating up."

A study done last year on spouse battering by the Victims Information Bureau of Suffolk County, reported: "Of those who hit their spouses, 48% are men and 52% are women. Of those respondents stating they had been hit by their spouse, 50% are men."

Another study conducted by Dr. Straus in 1974, involving 385 couples, showed little difference in the frequency with which husbands and wives used violence.
"We take this as indicating that women are no less predisposed to violence than are men."

. I never hit her. You don’t hit a woman.

Stereotypical thinking, in fact, plays a big role in why some people are surprised to learn that the crime of husband beating even exists.

A big man married to a small man: a middle aged woman married to an elderly man: a healthy woman married to a physically handicapped man: a healthy woman married to a very sick man.

. Some battered husbands say they are afraid to hit their wives because they believe they will inflict serious physical damage. A man faced with a battering wife must deal with a disturbing psychological. If there are children, the husband is faced with another dilemma. In many of the most violent marriages the husband and wife trade blows with alarming regularity.

Very often a woman becomes a husband beater because she is a battered wife. "One FBI man used to get drunk and beat up his wife all the time. The FBI’s annual compilation of nationwide crime statistics shows: "In murders involving husbands and wives, the wife was the victim in 52% of the incidents and the husband in the remaining 48."

Sociologist Gelles said, "Men and women have always been equal victims in family violence fifty percent of the killings are men, fifty are women.

What has changed dramatically in the last year (1974) is the number of women who are beating murder charges with the defense that they are battered wives striking back.

Evelyn Ware, his wife, was charged with murder, but an Orange County, Calif. Jury found her not guilty after hearing evidence that she was a battered wife.

The police said she had long been abused by her husband.

In our book, "Wife Beating: The Silent Crisis," Richard Levy and I devoted one chapter to battered husbands. The problems of battered men and battered women are obviously not equal. For a number of reasons, the plight of the battered wife is more severe than that of the beaten husband and there are many more of them. However to say that the problem is greater for women then men is not to say that the problem of battered men is not significant. Husband abuse should not be viewed as merely the opposite side of the coin to wife abuse. Like child abuse, both are parts of the same problem.

Most people show problems of the battered woman. Sometimes they show Batted Men. They hurtt, too.

By Jim Sniechowski, Ph.D., and Judith Sherven, Ph.D. ( AGED. Jt 10031002)

Domestic violence has at least two sides. It receives almost no serious attention, because the roots of domestic violence can only be found in the co-created, interpersonal relationship dynamics between both people that foster the violence. According to Lenore Walker, Ph.D., a feminist psychologist who made the idea of "learned helplessness" part of the diagnosis of the woman's role in domestic violence, women interviewed in shelters describe a process that has three distinct stages: 1) the tension building stage where both persons sense the oncoming eruption; 2) the battering incident when the violence erupts; 3) the remorseful stage in which both parties express sorrow for what took place.

We have been asked, "Do men and women marry people knowing full well that they may wind up beaten or killed?" The proof is in the recidivism rates for both men and women who either return to the abusive relationship or leave it only to resume the violence with a new partner.

To avoid confronting evidence of women's violence against men, many women's advocates argue that men are stronger and do more damage. Although there are many men who are not stronger, generally men are taller and stronger than women. The facts are, however, that women initiate violence against men in roughly equal numbers (women 24% and men 27%) with both sexes mutually the rest of the time. To offset men's larger physiques, women more often use weapons How many of them know situations in which women have battered men? Women, more and more women during the last thirty years, are just as capable of acting out physically. Our culture teaches boys and young men that to be a "real man" they have to be able to take it, and especially take it from a woman.

• 41% of spousal murders involved a female killer;
• 33% of family murders involved a female killer;
• 18% of parent murders involved a female killer;

The media continues to attribute control and domination solely to men. The fact is that many women get off just as frequently. Domestic violence is a two way street. As long as women refuse to take responsibility for their participation, they will remain disempowered and completely dependent upon men to change. Is that what women really want?

We must look clearly and fearlessly at the dance women and men create that allows for and sustains that violence. Domestic Violence Index

This is the only country in the world where a woman marries a husband and not a man. You poor things. If you would only realize you’re living not with just a husband but with a man, and a warm-blooded human being!

Husbands may be things to brag about to unmarried girl friends, to simper over to married ones; to legitimize your children and to pay your bills.

But that someone who thrills you, who returns your love, who sympathizes, holds your hand romantically, fights and forgives—that’s a man.

If you have one, better take good care of him; you may never get another.

You American women, when you take a man unto yourselves, too often shelve him immediately like some sort of knicknack. He gets banished to the back of the house and the back of the mind.

Chances are he’ll start looking again for one of those rare women who will treat him royally as in the beginning he hoped you would.

There are some around, you know. He’ll search until he finds one—probably a lot sooner than you’ll find a replacement for him. You could end up with one pillow on a two-pillow bed.

When you marry, handle what you get like a child, but treat him like a man. When it’s his child time, mother him with kindness, taake care of his needs, pamper him and baby him whenever the need arises.

When It’s Man Time, let him see you as the woman of his dreams and desires, a neat one who is always well-groomed; an unusual woman who knows how to cook, who can entertain brilliantly, who can keep her mouth shut while looking intelligent and who, when the lights are turned out at night, keeps him awake.

Under his love, you who have heretofore hung around the house like a dull cocoon, unnoticed and undesired, can now emerge like a big beautifully butterfly. Which the child’s mind this grown-up man has, he will start chasing Madam Butterfly all over the house. Once he gets his second wind he matures fast.

You might, as the years go by, one day drop dead of sheer exhaustion from being chased so much. But my dears, can you think of a better way to die?