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Beating Husbands

Position of Authority

God Jehovah,    Jesus      (Priest)/       Holy Spirit,  Comforter/ Advocator/Counselor

Position of Authority: 

 Man, Father,     Husband, Priest       Woman,        Mother, Support Person/Church/

Battered husbands:

It was a classic case of spouse abuse except for one thing -- the victim was a man and the attacker a woman. The idea that husband beating is a serious problem in this country is difficult for many people to accept yet itís been called by one expert." The most under-reported crime in America today."

Only a minute number of this case ever get on the records. The reason is simple. It takes a great deal of courage for a battered man to talk into a police station and stand before a burly desk sergeant and say" I want to report that my wife beat me up." But in recent months there are indications that more battered men are willing to come out of the closet.

Last July, The Mayorís Task Force on Rape set up crisis centers at Queens General Hospital, Lincoln Hospital in the Bronx, Harlem Hospital and St. Vincentís Hospital in Staten Island. There expected calls from rape victims and battered women. They were startled when they all began getting calls from battered men.

Most men, like women, wonít admit it happened to them.

. He endured many beatings, one of Iíve been beaten with vases, pots and pans."

Yes, Virginia, there are husband beaters and my ex-wife was one.

No one knows for sure how many battered men there are in America today.

The National Institute of Mental Health (NUBH) sponsored a family violence study involving 2,143 families.

This same study also shows that the frequency for violence is about equal for both men and women. The researchers defined a "violent episode" as "any act intended to cause physical pain or injury to the husband or wife ranging from slapping to beating up."

A study done last year on spouse battering by the Victims Information Bureau of Suffolk County, reported: "Of those who hit their spouses, 48% are men and 52% are women. Of those respondents stating they had been hit by their spouse, 50% are men."

Another study conducted by Dr. Straus in 1974, involving 385 couples, showed little difference in the frequency with which husbands and wives used violence.
"We take this as indicating that women are no less predisposed to violence than are men."

. I never hit her. You donít hit a woman.

Stereotypical thinking, in fact, plays a big role in why some people are surprised to learn that the crime of husband beating even exists.

A big man married to a small man: a middle aged woman married to an elderly man: a healthy woman married to a physically handicapped man: a healthy woman married to a very sick man.

. Some battered husbands say they are afraid to hit their wives because they believe they will inflict serious physical damage. A man faced with a battering wife must deal with a disturbing psychological. If there are children, the husband is faced with another dilemma. In many of the most violent marriages the husband and wife trade blows with alarming regularity.

Very often a woman becomes a husband beater because she is a battered wife. "One FBI man used to get drunk and beat up his wife all the time. The FBIís annual compilation of nationwide crime statistics shows: "In murders involving husbands and wives, the wife was the victim in 52% of the incidents and the husband in the remaining 48."

Sociologist Gelles said, "Men and women have always been equal victims in family violence fifty percent of the killings are men, fifty are women.

What has changed dramatically in the last year (1974) is the number of women who are beating murder charges with the defense that they are battered wives striking back.

Evelyn Ware, his wife, was charged with murder, but an Orange County, Calif. Jury found her not guilty after hearing evidence that she was a battered wife.

The police said she had long been abused by her husband.

In our book, "Wife Beating: The Silent Crisis," Richard Levy and I devoted one chapter to battered husbands. The problems of battered men and battered women are obviously not equal. For a number of reasons, the plight of the battered wife is more severe than that of the beaten husband and there are many more of them. However to say that the problem is greater for women then men is not to say that the problem of battered men is not significant. Husband abuse should not be viewed as merely the opposite side of the coin to wife abuse. Like child abuse, both are parts of the same problem.

 

Crisis Center hot line numbers: November 12: 2002

Manhattan - (212) 577-7777

Queens - (212) 577-7777

Staten Island - (800) - 621-HOPE

Brooklyn - Bedford-Stuyvesant (212) - 577-7777

Bronx - Kingsbridge Center (212) 577-7777

 

Dear Madam, Supposed Jesus as a man was your husband,  a Son of Man (not the Son of God), would you give him position  as the Authority of your house? Children? Mr. Man, would you give her the same respect toward  Jesus? She is as equal as yourself and with Jesus (the Son of Man). This concept  is Righteous. Would  you accept this idea as one who would want your children's children? No beating your wife or children. No battling, nor battening  in nor out of the family firm. The Family is One.

 


Most people show problems of the battered woman. Sometimes they show Batted Men. They hurtt, too.

 
 

Husband Battering - By David Gross

A problem not taken seriously

The first reaction upon hearing about the topic of battered men, for many people, is that of incredulity. Battered husbands are a topic for jokes (such as the cartoon image of a woman chasing her husband with a rolling-pin). One researcher noted that wives were the perpetrators in 73% of the depictions of domestic violence in newspaper comics (Saenger 1963).

Battered husbands have historically been either ignored or subjected to ridicule and abuse. Although feminism has opened many of our eyes about the existence of domestic violence, and newspaper reports often include incidents of abuse of wives, the abuse of husbands is a rarely discussed phenomenon.

In 1974, a study was done which compared male and female domestic violence. In that study, it was found that 47% of husbands had used physical violence on their wives, and 33% of wives had used violence on their husbands (Gelles 1974).

Also in 1974, a study was released showing that the number of murders of women by men (17.5% of total homicides) was about the same as the number of murders of men by women (16.4% of total homicides). This study In 1958, an investigation of spousal homicide between 1948 and 1952 found that 7.8% of murder victims were husbands murdered by wives, and 8% were wives murdered by husbands (Wolfgang 1958).

In 1976, for instance, in a critique of the Curtis report (which found women less likely to assault, but as likely to murder, as men), Wilt & Bannon wrote that "nonfatal violence committed by women against men is less likely to be reported to the police than is violence by men against women; thus, women assaulters who come to the attention of the police are likely to be those who have produced a fatal result."

In 1977, Suzanne Steinmetz released results from several studies showing that the percentage of wives who have used physical violence is higher than the percentage of husbands, and that the wives' average violence score tended to be higher, although men were somewhat more likely to cause greater injury.

Steinmetz concluded that "the most unreported crime is not wife beating -- it's husband beating" (Langley & Levy 1977).

15.5% of the men and 11.3% of the women reported having hit their spouse; 18.6% of the men and 12.7% of the women reported having been hit by their spouse.

17% of women and 7% of men reported engaging in severe physical aggression. 35% of the men and 30% of the women reported having been abused.

52% of the abuse victims were men.

Women's violence is hard to believe

Studies of women who murder

I said these weren't poor battered women.

Strauss & Gelles commented in their 1986 report that "violence by wives has not been an object of public concern... In fact, our 1975 study was criticized for presenting statistics on violence by wives."

Yet domestic violence is an issue framed in the media and in the political arena as one of male perpetrators and female victims. Violence in gay and lesbian relationships is rarely discussed, and violence against men in heterosexual relationships less so.

Battered men wonder where to turn

The terms "wife beating" and "battered women" have become political expressions, rather than descriptions of reality.

In a book on domestic violence, Roger Langley and Richard C. Levy conclude a chapter on battered husbands by saying, "Husband abuse should not be viewed as merely the opposite side of the coin to wife abuse.

Laws favor female victims

The reason he gave for this was the "Battered Woman Syndrome" which, obviously, no man can claim as his defense (Wilkerson 1990).

Simply opening up "Women's Shelters" to men is not enough.


References

Biden, Joseph "Violence Against Women Act of 1990" (S. 15) 1991.

Curtis, L.A. Criminal violence: National patterns and behavior Lexington Books, Lexington MA, 1974

Garcia, Jane "The Cost of Escaping Domestic Violence" Los Angeles Times May 6, 1991

Marriage and Divorce Today "First Large-Scale Study Reveals Elder Abuse is Primarily by Wives Against Husbands" December 15, 1986

Rooke, Margaret "Violence in the Home" RadioTimes 16-22 March 1991 p. 8.

Steinmetz, Suzanne K. The cycle of violence: Assertive, aggressive and abusive family interaction Praeger Press, New York, 1977

Steinmetz, Suzanne K. "The Battered Husband Syndrome" Victimology 2, 1977-1978, p. 499 Steinmetz, Suzanne K. and Lucca, Joseph S. "Husband Battering" in Handbook of Family Violence Van Hasselt, Vincent B. et al. editors, Plenum Press, New York 1988, p. 233-246

Strauss, M.A., Gelles, R.J., and Steinmetz, S.K. Behind closed doors: Violence in American families Doubleday, New York, 1980

Wilkerson, Isabel "Clemency Granted to 25 Women Convicted for Assault or Murder" New York Times December 21, 1990


Domestic Violence Index
Men's Issues Page


We have to be careful lest we teach our children that authority is violence; and that the only way to express a different opinion is by violent acts of rebellion.

BLAMING MEN DOESN'T STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

By Jim Sniechowski, Ph.D., and Judith Sherven, Ph.D. ( AGED. Jt 10031002)

Domestic violence has at least two sides. It receives almost no serious attention, because the roots of domestic violence can only be found in the co-created, interpersonal relationship dynamics between both people that foster the violence. According to Lenore Walker, Ph.D., a feminist psychologist who made the idea of "learned helplessness" part of the diagnosis of the woman's role in domestic violence, women interviewed in shelters describe a process that has three distinct stages: 1) the tension building stage where both persons sense the oncoming eruption; 2) the battering incident when the violence erupts; 3) the remorseful stage in which both parties express sorrow for what took place.

We have been asked, "Do men and women marry people knowing full well that they may wind up beaten or killed?" The proof is in the recidivism rates for both men and women who either return to the abusive relationship or leave it only to resume the violence with a new partner.

To avoid confronting evidence of women's violence against men, many women's advocates argue that men are stronger and do more damage. Although there are many men who are not stronger, generally men are taller and stronger than women. The facts are, however, that women initiate violence against men in roughly equal numbers (women 24% and men 27%) with both sexes mutually the rest of the time. To offset men's larger physiques, women more often use weapons How many of them know situations in which women have battered men? Women, more and more women during the last thirty years, are just as capable of acting out physically. Our culture teaches boys and young men that to be a "real man" they have to be able to take it, and especially take it from a woman.

  • 41% of spousal murders involved a female killer;
  • 33% of family murders involved a female killer;
  • 18% of parent murders involved a female killer;

The media continues to attribute control and domination solely to men. The fact is that many women get off just as frequently. Domestic violence is a two way street. As long as women refuse to take responsibility for their participation, they will remain disempowered and completely dependent upon men to change. Is that what women really want?

We must look clearly and fearlessly at the dance women and men create that allows for and sustains that violence. Domestic Violence Index

 
 
 
  Treat Him Like a Man, Not Like Your Husband

By Count Tharco

This is the only country in the world where a woman marries a husband and not a man. You poor things. If you would only realize youíre living not with just a husband but with a man, and a warm-blooded human being!

Husbands may be things to brag about to unmarried girl friends, to simper over to married ones; to legitimize your children and to pay your bills.

But that someone who thrills you, who returns your love, who sympathizes, holds your hand romantically, fights and forgivesóthatís a man.

If you have one, better take good care of him; you may never get another.

You American women, when you take a man unto yourselves, too often shelve him immediately like some sort of knicknack. He gets banished to the back of the house and the back of the mind.

Chances are heíll start looking again for one of those rare women who will treat him royally as in the beginning he hoped you would.

There are some around, you know. Heíll search until he finds oneóprobably a lot sooner than youíll find a replacement for him. You could end up with one pillow on a two-pillow bed.

When you marry, handle what you get like a child, but treat him like a man. When itís his child time, mother him with kindness, taake care of his needs, pamper him and baby him whenever the need arises.

When Itís Man Time, let him see you as the woman of his dreams and desires, a neat one who is always well-groomed; an unusual woman who knows how to cook, who can entertain brilliantly, who can keep her mouth shut while looking intelligent and who, when the lights are turned out at night, keeps him awake.

Under his love, you who have heretofore hung around the house like a dull cocoon, unnoticed and undesired, can now emerge like a big beautifully butterfly. Which the childís mind this grown-up man has, he will start chasing Madam Butterfly all over the house. Once he gets his second wind he matures fast.

You might, as the years go by, one day drop dead of sheer exhaustion from being chased so much. But my dears, can you think of a better way to die?

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