Position of Authority:
Jehovah, Jesus (Priest)/ Holy
It was a classic case of spouse abuse except for one thing -- the victim
was a man and the attacker a woman. The idea that husband beating is a
serious problem in this country is difficult for many people to accept yet
itís been called by one expert." The most under-reported crime in America
Only a minute number of this case ever get on the records. The reason is
simple. It takes a great deal of courage for a battered man to talk into a
police station and stand before a burly desk sergeant and say" I want to
report that my wife beat me up." But in recent months there are indications
that more battered men are willing to come out of the closet.
Last July, The Mayorís Task Force on Rape set up crisis centers at Queens
General Hospital, Lincoln Hospital in the Bronx, Harlem Hospital and St.
Vincentís Hospital in Staten Island. There expected calls from rape victims
and battered women. They were startled when they all began getting calls
from battered men.
Most men, like women, wonít admit it happened to them.
. He endured many beatings, one of Iíve been beaten with vases, pots and
Yes, Virginia, there are husband beaters and my ex-wife was one.
No one knows for sure how many battered men there are in America today.
The National Institute of Mental Health (NUBH) sponsored a family
violence study involving 2,143 families.
This same study also shows that the frequency for violence is about equal
for both men and women. The researchers defined a "violent episode" as "any
act intended to cause physical pain or injury to the husband or wife ranging
from slapping to beating up."
A study done last year on spouse battering by the Victims Information
Bureau of Suffolk County, reported: "Of those who hit their spouses, 48% are
men and 52% are women. Of those respondents stating they had been hit by
their spouse, 50% are men."
Another study conducted by Dr. Straus in 1974, involving 385 couples,
showed little difference in the frequency with which husbands and wives used
"We take this as indicating that women are no less predisposed to violence
than are men."
. I never hit her. You donít hit a woman.
Stereotypical thinking, in fact, plays a big role in why some people are
surprised to learn that the crime of husband beating even exists.
A big man married to a small man: a middle aged woman married to an
elderly man: a healthy woman married to a physically handicapped man: a
healthy woman married to a very sick man.
. Some battered husbands say they are afraid to hit their wives because
they believe they will inflict serious physical damage. A man faced with a
battering wife must deal with a disturbing psychological. If there are
children, the husband is faced with another dilemma. In many of the most
violent marriages the husband and wife trade blows with alarming regularity.
Very often a woman becomes a husband beater because she is a battered
wife. "One FBI man used to get drunk and beat up his wife all the time. The
FBIís annual compilation of nationwide crime statistics shows: "In murders
involving husbands and wives, the wife was the victim in 52% of the
incidents and the husband in the remaining 48."
Sociologist Gelles said, "Men and women have always been equal victims in
family violence fifty percent of the killings are men, fifty are women.
What has changed dramatically in the last year (1974) is the number of
women who are beating murder charges with the defense that they are battered
wives striking back.
Evelyn Ware, his wife, was charged with murder, but an Orange County,
Calif. Jury found her not guilty after hearing evidence that she was a
The police said she had long been abused by her husband.
In our book, "Wife Beating: The Silent Crisis," Richard Levy and I
devoted one chapter to battered husbands. The problems of battered men and
battered women are obviously not equal. For a number of reasons, the plight
of the battered wife is more severe than that of the beaten husband and
there are many more of them. However to say that the problem is greater for
women then men is not to say that the problem of battered men is not
significant. Husband abuse should not be viewed as merely the opposite side
of the coin to wife abuse. Like child abuse, both are parts of the same
Crisis Center hot line numbers: November 12: 2002
Staten Island - (800) - 621-HOPE
Brooklyn - Bedford-Stuyvesant (212)
Kingsbridge Center (212) 577-7777
Dear Madam, Supposed Jesus as a man was your
husband, a Son of Man (not the Son of God), would you give him
position as the Authority of your house? Children? Mr. Man, would
you give her the same respect toward Jesus? She is as equal as
yourself and with Jesus (the Son of Man). This
concept is Righteous. Would you accept this idea as one who
would want your children's children? No beating your wife or children.
No battling, nor battening in nor out of the family firm. The
Family is One.
Husband Battering -
By David Gross
A problem not taken seriously
The first reaction upon hearing about the topic of battered men, for
many people, is that of incredulity. Battered husbands are a topic for
jokes (such as the cartoon image of a woman chasing her husband with a
rolling-pin). One researcher noted that wives were the perpetrators in
73% of the depictions of domestic violence in newspaper comics (Saenger
Battered husbands have historically been either ignored or subjected
to ridicule and abuse. Although feminism has opened many of our eyes
about the existence of domestic violence, and newspaper reports often
include incidents of abuse of wives, the abuse of husbands is a rarely
In 1974, a study was done which compared male and female domestic
violence. In that study, it was found that 47% of husbands had used
physical violence on their wives, and 33% of wives had used violence on
their husbands (Gelles 1974).
Also in 1974, a study was released showing that the number of murders
of women by men (17.5% of total homicides) was about the same as the
number of murders of men by women (16.4% of total homicides). This study
In 1958, an investigation of spousal homicide between 1948 and 1952
found that 7.8% of murder victims were husbands murdered by wives, and
8% were wives murdered by husbands (Wolfgang 1958).
In 1976, for instance, in a critique of the Curtis report (which
found women less likely to assault, but as likely to murder, as men),
Wilt & Bannon wrote that "nonfatal violence committed by women against
men is less likely to be reported to the police than is violence by men
against women; thus, women assaulters who come to the attention of the
police are likely to be those who have produced a fatal result."
In 1977, Suzanne Steinmetz released results from several studies
showing that the percentage of wives who have used physical violence is
higher than the percentage of husbands, and that the wives' average
violence score tended to be higher, although men were somewhat more
likely to cause greater injury.
Steinmetz concluded that "the most unreported crime is not wife
beating -- it's husband beating" (Langley & Levy 1977).
15.5% of the men and 11.3% of the women reported having hit their
spouse; 18.6% of the men and 12.7% of the women reported having been hit
by their spouse.
17% of women and 7% of men reported engaging in severe physical
aggression. 35% of the men and 30% of the women reported having been
52% of the abuse victims were men.
Women's violence is hard to believe
Studies of women who murder
I said these weren't poor battered women.
Strauss & Gelles commented in their 1986 report that "violence by
wives has not been an object of public concern... In fact, our 1975
study was criticized for presenting statistics on violence by wives."
Yet domestic violence is an issue framed in the media and in the
political arena as one of male perpetrators and female victims. Violence
in gay and lesbian relationships is rarely discussed, and violence
against men in heterosexual relationships less so.
Battered men wonder where to turn
The terms "wife beating" and "battered women" have become political
expressions, rather than descriptions of reality.
In a book on domestic violence, Roger Langley and Richard C. Levy
conclude a chapter on battered husbands by saying, "Husband abuse should
not be viewed as merely the opposite side of the coin to wife abuse.
Laws favor female victims
The reason he gave for this was the "Battered Woman Syndrome" which,
obviously, no man can claim as his defense (Wilkerson 1990).
Simply opening up "Women's Shelters" to men is not enough.
Biden, Joseph "Violence Against Women Act of 1990" (S. 15) 1991.
Curtis, L.A. Criminal violence: National patterns and behavior
Lexington Books, Lexington MA, 1974
Garcia, Jane "The Cost of Escaping Domestic Violence" Los Angeles
Times May 6, 1991
Marriage and Divorce Today "First Large-Scale Study Reveals Elder
Abuse is Primarily by Wives Against Husbands" December 15, 1986
Rooke, Margaret "Violence in the Home" RadioTimes 16-22 March 1991 p.
Steinmetz, Suzanne K. The cycle of violence: Assertive, aggressive
and abusive family interaction Praeger Press, New York, 1977
Steinmetz, Suzanne K. "The Battered Husband Syndrome" Victimology 2,
1977-1978, p. 499 Steinmetz, Suzanne K. and Lucca, Joseph S. "Husband
Battering" in Handbook of Family Violence Van Hasselt, Vincent B. et al.
editors, Plenum Press, New York 1988, p. 233-246
Strauss, M.A., Gelles, R.J., and Steinmetz, S.K. Behind closed doors:
Violence in American families Doubleday, New York, 1980
Wilkerson, Isabel "Clemency Granted to 25 Women Convicted for Assault
or Murder" New York Times December 21, 1990
Domestic Violence Index
We have to be careful lest we teach our children that
authority is violence; and that the only way to express a different opinion
is by violent acts of rebellion.
BLAMING MEN DOESN'T STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
By Jim Sniechowski, Ph.D., and Judith Sherven, Ph.D.
( AGED. Jt 10031002)
Domestic violence has at least two sides. It receives almost no serious
attention, because the roots of domestic violence can only be found in the
co-created, interpersonal relationship dynamics between both people that
foster the violence. According to
Ph.D., a feminist psychologist who made the idea of "learned helplessness"
part of the diagnosis of the woman's role in domestic violence, women
interviewed in shelters describe a process that has three distinct stages:
1) the tension building stage where both persons sense the oncoming
eruption; 2) the battering incident when the violence erupts; 3) the
remorseful stage in which both parties express sorrow for what took place.
We have been asked, "Do men and women marry people knowing full well that
they may wind up beaten or killed?" The proof is in the recidivism rates for
both men and women who either return to the abusive relationship or leave it
only to resume the violence with a new partner.
To avoid confronting evidence of women's violence against men, many
women's advocates argue that men are stronger and do more damage. Although
there are many men who are not stronger, generally men are taller and
stronger than women. The facts are, however, that women initiate violence
against men in roughly equal numbers (women 24% and men 27%) with both sexes
mutually the rest of the time. To offset men's larger physiques, women more
often use weapons How many of them know situations in which women have
battered men? Women, more and more women during the last thirty years, are
just as capable of acting out physically. Our culture teaches boys and young
men that to be a "real man" they have to be able to take it, and especially
take it from a woman.
- 41% of spousal murders involved a female killer;
- 33% of family murders involved a female killer;
- 18% of parent murders involved a female killer;
The media continues to attribute control and domination solely to men.
The fact is that many women get off just as frequently. Domestic violence is
a two way street. As long as women refuse to take responsibility for their
participation, they will remain disempowered and completely dependent upon
men to change. Is that what women really want?
We must look clearly and fearlessly at the dance women and men create
that allows for and sustains that violence.
Treat Him Like a Man, Not Like Your Husband
By Count Tharco
This is the only country in the world where a woman marries a husband
and not a man. You poor things. If you would only realize youíre living
not with just a husband but with a man, and a warm-blooded human being!
Husbands may be things to brag about to unmarried girl friends, to
simper over to married ones; to legitimize your children and to pay your
But that someone who thrills you, who returns your love, who
sympathizes, holds your hand romantically, fights and forgivesóthatís a
If you have one, better take good care of him; you may never get
You American women, when you take a man unto yourselves, too often
shelve him immediately like some sort of knicknack. He gets banished to
the back of the house and the back of the mind.
Chances are heíll start looking again for one of those rare women who
will treat him royally as in the beginning he hoped you would.
There are some around, you know. Heíll search until he finds
oneóprobably a lot sooner than youíll find a replacement for him. You
could end up with one pillow on a two-pillow bed.
When you marry, handle what you get like a child, but treat him like
a man. When itís his child time, mother him with kindness, taake care of
his needs, pamper him and baby him whenever the need arises.
When Itís Man Time, let him see you as the woman of his dreams and
desires, a neat one who is always well-groomed; an unusual woman who
knows how to cook, who can entertain brilliantly, who can keep her mouth
shut while looking intelligent and who, when the lights are turned out
at night, keeps him awake.
Under his love, you who have heretofore hung around the house like a
dull cocoon, unnoticed and undesired, can now emerge like a big
beautifully butterfly. Which the childís mind this grown-up man has, he
will start chasing Madam Butterfly all over the house. Once he
second wind he matures fast.
You might, as the years go by, one day drop dead of sheer exhaustion
from being chased so much. But my dears, can you think of a better way